So it is my 37th birthday! Frankly, I am always very happy when my birthday shows up. But this time, it has been a tough pill to swallow. I am getting closer and closer to being 40. I am definitely trying hard to not be 40 before turning 40.
I have always seen myself as a young person at heart. Becoming “old” was never on my mind. But this year my hair has been grayer than ever. My muscles ache more than they did in my 20s and even from last year probably. Maybe I am working out more this year than I ever did? Not sure.
So here are my learnings from my 37 Trips Around The Sun
1. Forget and Forgive
But anyways, today I decided to show courage and own the age and share some wisdom from the past 37 years that I may have learned in my journey that would be helpful and insightful in yours.
This is very hard to do but these are the last words of my grandfather that have stuck with me since he said (wrote) them. For a long time, I have taken things personally. I used to hold grudges. It was hard for me to forget or forgive anything or anyone. Mindfulness definitely helped me understand the true meaning of forgiveness. A lot of my stories around holding grudges have shifted over the years and helped me become a better person.
2. Be Grateful and Express Gratitude
I learned gratitude practice a few years ago. Finding gratitude in times when I felt thankful about nothing was a big eye opening moment for me. When you are in gratitude even in your really low times, it opens you up to be able to be grateful for your better times.
3. Share without fear
When you are sharing your deepest passions, desires, ideas with others, it is natural to get intimidated by thinking about what others will think. But when you share your ideas, you will inspire more people to share theirs. You will find people who want more from you. You will find the right mentors. If people do not know what it is that you are passionate about and what you are seeking, it will be hard for them to understand and relate to you.
4. Show up with Love
You may not always encounter people who share your passions or those who support your passions. Sometimes you become angry at people for not sharing the same opinion. Show up with love and kindness and be open. You do not have to share the same ideas or opinions but that does not mean we are all bad human beings. You are just different. You can do our own thing without spitting anger at others.
5. You are Fucking Awesome
You might be encountering your inner mean girl or boy every day. And even though this voice comes from past experiences and learnings, I am here to tell you that you are fucking awesome! You are showing up daily in the world and waking up to bring joy to you and your family’s life and to the extended world. Maybe what you do does not feel perfect yet but you are still doing it anyway. And that makes you fucking awesome!
6. Connect Consciously
When you are connecting with other people, connect consciously. What does that mean? It means that connect without judgement. Your mind makes up so many stories about what this person is, will be, but the real story might be completely different. Be intentional with the person. Learn what he/she likes to do. Encourage them in their endeavors. It might be the only thing that maybe keeping them alive for all that we know. Share their work with other people. Show encouragement. Share love. Be mindful about talks around generalization, criticism, racism, etc. We live in a world that brings stress. Be a person that brings less stress to other people’s life.
7. Give a second chance
Long time ago, I received a second chance from my friend, from life, from my boss. Since then, I decided to give other people a second chance as well. Our first impressions might not always be the real ones. Sometimes people do things that they regret and they never meant in the first place.
8. Be consistent
This frankly has taken some learning to do for me. I have always wondered what was the difference between someone who succeeds and someone who does not. And the word is consistency. The person who succeeds shows up consistently.
9. Do not Quit
When you show up daily and consistently, you may see some ups and downs. All downs do not mean that you should quit. Some downs just mean you should keep swimming and keep going at your efforts.
A great book that tells you when to quit vs when to not quit is The Dip by Seth Godin.
10. Emotions are temporary. We keep them around and get attached
Did you know that emotions are temporary. They are felt in our body. If we pay attention to them, they will show us what really is bothering us and how to heal. But if you decide to suppress your emotions, they get stored in your body as pain and disease and discomfort that comes to bother you later on.
Learning to process emotions is a great way to move them through your body and stop the creation of future stress. If you are interested in learning more on how to do this, join my mindfulness based course Live Light.
11. Keep an open mind
Opportunities sometimes come in disguise as something that you really will not look at. Something that will make you open up your mind and soul. I never thought a day in my life before two years ago that I would open up a tarot card deck or give someone psychic answers. But I did and it helped the other person grow and heal.
I would have joked about it few years ago. Made fun of and not been friends with this kind of a person. Thinking they were too weird. But I did that and it was ok. It put me closer to where I want to be than not. It helped me get over judgements and reservations. It helped me open up my heart to different kinds of people that did not fit in my bucket before two years ago.
12. Having a job and a title is not everything
For a long time job meant everything. The titles, the promotions they mattered. But what I realized what really meant for me was to show up in my purpose. To really do what I love to do and explore, day in and day out.
Ambition is good but having an ambition with an inner purpose is better and less stressful!
13. Be Kind Not Complacent
Are you letting other people push your boundaries day in and day out and you think you are just being kind?
Do not do this. The only person you will start hating the most is yourself. Be kind, be gentle but be firm with your boundaries.
14. You have to leave your comfort zone
To do something you have never done before, you have to leave your comfort zone. I had to face my fears of public speaking and camera before I could show up like I show up right now. I had to face my fears of being judged when I presented tarot card readings. I had to face my fears of feeling left alone when I quit my job and decided to explore my own path.
You do not have to be uncomfortable in all areas. Just the area where you want to make most progress.
15. Do not take feedback from people who are not playing in the ring
If you find yourself asking for feedback for everything that you did, just like me. Wait. Here is an advice. Take feedback only from those who are getting uncomfortable, who are playing in the arena, who are probably ahead of you or hitting obstacles just like you. There is no need to take any advice from someone who says OH I DID WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO DO BUT I QUIT A LONG AGO. LET ME TELL YOU WHAT WILL WORK AND WILL NOT.
NO, Do not take advice from those who are not playing your game. It is not worth it. These are naysayers and will bring you down. Yes, if they tried something and did not work so they quit and applied a new plan of action and it worked and they are still in the game, they are worth learning from.
16. Do not be afraid to change your circles or go it alone
When you are on your path of progress, most likely friends will not stick. They will not get what you are doing. They might get worried you are changing. Your interests will change.
It is ok. Wish everyone good luck with your heart and be on your own path. Do not get down your path because friends will not come along.
17. Do not wait for your opportunities to knock on the door. Sometimes you can knock the door on opportunities as well
Waiting and Having Patience is Amazing. But never be afraid to ask for an opportunity. You never know whose heart will melt because of your journey and who will get you on board. Knock all the doors that you can. Opportunity always meets halfway.
18. Meditate regularly
I have known about and learned meditation since more than 15 years ago. But I really started practicing fully 2 years ago. I have even thought that I did not need meditation. I have run away from it. But mindfulness and self compassion has definitely been a game changed for me and my stress levels. It has helped me find my inner ally and silence my inner critic.
19. Connect With Nature
When feeling lost, overwhelmed, unhappy or stressed, connect with nature. Nature connection naturally grounds all the excess negative energy you may have and helps you recharge.
20. Life is too precious to wake up with our face in a phone
I have done this and still do this sometimes but mindfully keeping phone away in the early hours of the morning helps you connect to your own creativity and intuition and keeps you less stressed. I am working more on more on not having the phone with me for the first two hours of when I wake up. I meditate instead before kids wake up. It also helps me give full attention to kids when they wake up.
21. Binge watching for a change is ok
I have watched TV a lot growing up. I really love it. As I have grown up into this purpose, my TV watching has reduced but I do binge watch some shows. I think it is completely ok to do so on some days as long as you are mindful it is not becoming a habit
22. Be Intentional
Starting a day or any meeting or anything new with an intention helps build focus. Our intentions create magic. (You might think this is woo woo but it is not). When you set clear intentions you send all your energy into creating what is necessary for this intention. It helps you move faster towards your aligned goals
23. You Are Worthy
Never for one day wonder if you are worthy of what you want. You are all worthy. A good journal to help you increase self worth is You Woke Up Worthy by Britny West
24. If you want to do something, just do it
When you want to do something new, you think twice. Then ask many people if you should be doing it. You analyze. Sometimes though, the best thing about wanting to do something is to just do it.
25. FEAR always arises
Fear is always present. Courage is what you do in spite of fear. Fear is how we are programmed. We can change this programming by doing and taking action.
26. Books are a great company
You can never be lonely with books around. Books open someone else’s world and pull us in. I love reading and sharing good books with others. I love libraries, kindle and amazon books. There are enough books to read on this earth and not enough time.
I have always felt not enough because of not having any artisan skills in me. But what I have realized is art is not meant to be enjoyed and judged. It is meant for the artists to heal themselves through creation. When I changed my perspective, I became less judgemental about my art and focused on healing.
28. Keep Learning
Learning new things and applying helps our brain to be sharp. I never feel bored because I am always learning new things.
29. Just because someone does not talk to you daily does not mean they do not think about you ever.
Sometimes I felt bad when I started losing friends when I moved to a new city. I use facebook a lot to keep in touch but not always being in touch and then getting in touch again is completely ok. Some people are meant to be on your journey forever and some just upto a distance. Give everyone enough space and love to follow their own journeys.
30. Nobody is busy
Noone is busy for things that matter to them. This is the ultimate truth. What you make a priority in life, you always find time for it.
31. Family comes first
Having a supportive husband has been a blessing for me. And it makes it easy for putting the family first. I have always wanted to put them first and am glad that I can choose to do that and not forced to do that.
32. The world is a beautiful place but it needs a lot of healing.
There is a lot of trauma created in this world. There is a lot of healing needed. We can all do our part by starting our own healing process first. If you are interested in starting your healing process, try this free meditation here
33. Financial Freedom is the best kind of freedom
You have to plan your finances in order to experience that freedom. Just starting a business does not cut it and neither does working 24 by 7. I will be talking a lot more about financial mindfulness as I learn more. We should talk more openly about money and make it work for us instead of making it a weird energy and working for it.
34. Keep Moving
Exercise helps keep your happy hormones working. Even if you do not get a full workout, at least add a walk in your daily life. It helps you move out any negative energy from your body as well.
35. Have No Regrets
Take “should have” “could have” “would have” out of your vocabulary. We cannot change past so no point regretting anything. It only hurts our present and our future.
36. Ask For Help
I am not sure if I said this before but when you need help ask for help. Asking for help is a sign of a strong person. It is not weak to ask. Sometimes asking is the only way out to the next step.
37. Pay Money Instead Of Asking Things For Free
Paid is not always better but free is not always respected. If you are asking someone something for free, be mindful and see if you value it. If you want to value something, pay the price. It helps with your commitment towards the service and helps you ten folds. Do your research before paying. Not everyone who charges tons of money is as good either.
I think that is a lot of learning in one post. I have so much more to elaborate on everything but at this moment, I want to get back to enjoying my birthday and letting you enjoy your day!