Placing appropriate boundaries makes life better and helps you stress less
Remember placing boundaries does not mean you are a mean person. It also does not mean that people will like you less. Placing boundaries means that you respect your time and energy. It means you have more energy to be present at your work and in your life without having to deal with negativities. It means that you are protected from other people and their situations. It also means that they are protected from you and your sensitivities.
Your habits often reveal more than they intend through your actions. They leave signs and clues everywhere for you to pick up and work on. And somewhere subconsciously even you know what you need to do in order to live a better life. But sometimes, you might be quite oblivious to this knowledge.
Here are 11 telltale signs that you need better boundaries at work (and probably in other areas of life)
- You are angry, irritated and frustrated more than 40% of the time at work. You get upset at everyone who comes to talk to you or you are angry about something at home and let that become your story for the rest of the day or week to be upset at everything and everyone.
- You are the go-to person for everyone’s work problems. You are respected for your work and you love helping people. You are volunteered for projects without being asked.
- You are constantly busy and your work keeps piling up because you were in so many different projects at once.
- You are always late everywhere, to meetings, to work, to go home.
- You overshare details of your personal life at home with your colleagues.
- People vomit every detail of their sad story on you and let you in on the negative energy.
- You are a people pleaser and it is impossible for you to say no to other people as that might affect how you are perceived.
- The drama follows you everywhere.
- It is hard for you to take time out as you are taking work home or working on the weekends.
- You become emotional when someone crosses a boundary with you and you are unable to get your point across without being perceived as someone weak or irrational.
- You answer emails as soon as they show up in your inbox…sometimes at 3 am in the night
The implications of not having boundaries in your life
- You can come across as an emotional person or a difficult person to be around with
- You might be taken advantage of all the time
- It might become harder for you to make decisions for yourself.
- You might face a lot of guilt and anxiety around your situation as you are not sure how to make it better any more.
- You might be wondering who you are anymore because you have been pulled around in way too many directions.
- You are in a cycle of overwhelm and feeling tired all the time. You are constantly running on low energy.
- You are not able to prioritize anything
Want to learn how to place these boundaries?
The best part is that placing boundaries does not have to come naturally. I can attest that from my own experience. I went from being a complete people pleaser to a person with better boundaries at work and at home. It is an acquired skill. It will not be overnight but I assure you, if you focus on improving this area of life, you will be a master at it in no time.
Here are some things you can do to start placing boundaries
- Become more aware of your stress triggers. What is someone doing or what are you doing that is making you so stressed and overwhelmed?
- Be more straightforward and confident in expressing your boundaries in a way where you are not coming across in a negative way.
- Create scripts and use them when you want to say NO.
- Understand your priorities
- Respect other people’s opinions and boundaries